Thursday, August 31, 2006

I heart Meatwad.

Dont you be givin it to me in that tippy cup. I am an adult and I deserve an adult glass. *Tip... Spill* WAAAAAAAHHHHHH

uh oh I dont think so *sniff* phew no no this milk has expired meatwad

Oh no I like it when it's chunky, Its spreadible and its edible.

I'm satan's onion, s..scalion


No not that.

Are you depressed? Has high intrest rates got you down? My name is Meatwad and today im here to offer you a once in a life time opportunity. Sell your organs over the internet.

andthank you james. woot for diet coke and mentos

Monday, August 28, 2006

Tracy Chapman - At This Point In My Life

Done so many things wrong I don't know if I can do right
Oh I, Oh I've
Done so many things wrong I don't know if I can do right

At this point in my life
I've done so many things wrong I don't know if I can do
If you put your trust in me I hope I won't let you down
If you give me a chance I'll try

You see it's been a hard road the road I'm traveling on
And if I take your hand I might lead you down the path to
I've had a hard life I'm just saying it so you'll understand
That right now, right now, I'm doing the best I can
At this point in my life

At this point in my life
Although I've mostly walked in the shadows
I'm still searching for the light
Won't you put your faith in me
We both know that's what matters
If you give me a chance I'll try

You see I've been climbing stairs but mostly stumbling down
I've been reaching high always losing ground
You see I've been reaching high but always losing ground
You see I've conquered hills but I still have mountains to
And right now right now I'm doing the best I can
At this point in my life

Before we take a step
Before we walk down that path
Before I make any promises
Before you have regrets
Before we talk commitment
Let me tell you of my past
All I've seen and all I've done
The things I'd like to forget
At this point in my life

At this point in my life
I'd like to live as if only love mattered
As if redemption was in sight
As if the search to live honestly
Is all that anyone needs
No matter if you find it

You see when I've touched the sky
The earth's gravity has pulled me down
But now I've reconciled that in this world
Birds and angels get the wings to fly
If you can believe in this heart of mine
If you can give it a try
Then I'll reach inside and find and give you
All the sweetness that I have
At this point in my life

At this point in my life

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Disturbed & KoRn - Forsaken

You see I can not be forsaken
because I am not the only one

We walk amongst
feeding raping
Must we hide from everyone


If anyone happens to find a clearer version than the one I have please let me know and I'll only hump your leg for 5 minutes instead of my usual greeting hump of 10 minutes

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Application Package? Yes please.

So I just thought I'd clarify because I just figured this out for myself too...

Passing the RPAB (RCMP Police Aptitude Battery) doesn't mean I'll be allowed to apply. All it means is that I *can* apply. This I did not realize, so when I got all excited and posted that I was applying, I was still unaware that I might not be accepted to apply.

Now when I figured this out I was quite disheartened, until Dez came stalking up behind me at work (which by the way was a great idea... I was so ready to come around the corner ready to fight, hence why I didnt seem very suprised, I had already turned off most emotions not nessesary for fighting. lol)

anyway I was disheartened because of my overall score...

on the RPAT (RCMP Police Aptitude Test) I got 3.64/5.00 and you need a 3.20 to pass. This is the test that tells wether you pass or fail the whole test.

on the SFPQ (Six Factor Personality Questionaire) I got a 61.00

what they do with those two numbers is work some mathematical magic and put them on the same scale... the end result being a score out of 500

This overall Score is called the RPAB score and is your final mark on the entire test.

This overall score is then used to place you on a Ranking List and from that Ranked List candidates are chosen to continue with the application...

The depressing part for me was my overall RPAB score, I got 234.96/500. the average is 246.62... and in my mind because I was below 250 and also below the average... I figured I wasn't going to get picked and I'd have to wait a whole year to apply again...

We'll I got a call on thursday sometime from the RCMP Recruiting Office in Victoria... They're sending me the application package so that I can continue with the application process...

And... on that note I just remembered that I had posted a much condensed version of this post on thursday... so chyeah... woot for being so tired you can't even remember what you did two days ago...

Screw sleep, I dont need *Yawn* need it *Yawn* mmm its nice and warm in my roo*Thunk**Snore*

Friday, August 25, 2006

Oh it's your last shift for the weekend? FUCK YOU

Shift from hell. the beginning was awesome, Becca came to visit. Ryan came (for the 5th night in a row) with food for me.

Then.... A second Fields trailer came in and had to leave asap....

Every skid I take off the trailer has to be weighed, every item on that skid has to be counted, then I record it and either load it into another trailer or place is in nice neat lines somewhere in the warehouse.... x20-30 skids (I think) per trailer x2 trailers...

Some skids have 20 boxes on them... some have 50 :ing 3 boxes....

Then there was the 1 skid.... Half of the bottom row of boxes werent even on the skid so the whole thing was falling over as soon as I moved it.... so I placed another skid underneath it to help support it... then the forklift didnt want to come out from under the skid.... Then when I got it out of the trailer it almost all fell over I had to slam the lift into E-Brake and jump out and catch the boxes before it all fell.... PUSH them back into a mostly upright position, remove my forklift from the area and saran wrap the whole stack (including both skids) super tight so that it wouldnt fall over again... This whole process took about half a fucking hour for the 1 skid.... then I went to weight it..... and I shit you not. It weighed EXACTLY 666lbs... I'm not joking in the least. 666 lbs. And I agree it was the skid from hell.

But on the plus side. I dont work until sometime next week woot! a weekend for myself! Which I will spend working for my mother for free!

Hehe.... but at least I'm getting the RCMP application package. I love packages. especially ones that come from a uniform... Giggle. I'm so tired. Time to go lay down and stare at the roof until 8am when I will actually fall asleep.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Another Step Done

I just got a phone message from RCMP Recruiting in Vancouver. I have been selected from the RPAB List to continue my application and I am to expect an Application package in the mail.

I love my God, he is so generous and caring. I needed to hear this news so badly. I'm so relieved, now its just a matter of getting everything done and doing it right.

Thank you Lord.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Ok so I have a christmas present request already....

Cook books.
Out door BBQ, fine dining, every day meals, and maybe even baking but only as a last resort.

I really want a good BBQ cook book, and a good fine dining one.

This bachelor wants to learn how to cook for himself, and his next lady friend. (Seduce her with tasty food. go me!)

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Why does it feel like my life is falling appart.

I dont sleep anymore, evne when im exausted and crash I only sleep for maybe an hour and a half. Everyone I know is mad at me for some reason. I constantly feel like a failure at everything I do or have done. I dont go to TKD anymore cause i feel like I dont know anything and I'm not very good.

I just dont understand wny everything is going so wrong. Becca is leaving in 18 days and I can't seem to keep it together long enough to see her.

Ryan was helping me with my shed roof, we had to tear it appart and rebuild it because it was rotten. we got into an argument and I ended up leaving the shed roof walking to my car and driving away for an hour, coming home and 10 minutes later leaving again and went to work. that was friday and yesterday was the first day ive talked to him

I dont see any of my other friends, who for some reason (Its not you guys.. trust me) I feel arent really my friends, they're becca's and just tolerate me. the only person who calls me ehough to talk to me is Dez and she's over in ottawa and is probably mad at me too because I dont call her back most of the time.

I just dont understand whats happening. I'm so angry at everything and nothing. I'm so frustrated I'm ready to take my guns out into the bush and just shoot something until I feel better. (dont worry becca I was thinking of shooting a board with a target in the middle. Nothing living... plus shooting living things is illegal till fall)

ARGHGHASD:LAKSJF:LKJ. I'm sorry if I've pissed you off because im a fuck up right now. I'm sorry if ive Ignored some of you (Cole, Jen) I just dont want to see anyone. and at the same time I'm pissed off cause I never see anyone.

What is going on. God I wish I could just go to Depot and actually start my life.

Becca got me an AMAZING book, "Mountie Makers" by Robert Gordon Teather. As the back of the book sais "Bob Teather was a renowned expert in underwater forensics and recovery techniques and a winner of the Canadian Cross of Valour and the RCMP's highest award, the Commissioner's Commendation for Bravery.

anyway the book is about his some of his stories from his training at Depot, and it just made me ache to go there myself.

I love the end lines "For six months of my life, I had been spit upon, shouted at, beaten, starved, and humiliated. Boy, those were the good 'ol days."

anyway im going to go find something to occupy my time. while I wait to leave this place.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

You know what I say to sleep? Fuck Shoes

2:37am, I work at 6 am, I wake up for work at 5am. and its two fucking thirty seven

yes, colon's ( : ) now mean fuck. : you all

hehe colon you all. thats so fucking funny. I lvoe it. I'm actually laughing to myself right now.

Oiy, I hate my house. I think my mother should just sell it and get a new one. actualy thats not true this is the only home ive ever known, I'll be sad when we have to sell it.

So absolutely nothing is being done about the basement for now... which means we have all cement flooring, which means my basement is almost 5-10 degrees colder than the upstairs if not more.

My shed roof was rotting and the shingles had been slowly degrading over the past 30 years or so since it was built... so I'm also currently in the process of tearing off all the plywood from the joices so that I can nail new stuff on and reshingle. Fun for the whole family.

I miss my wookie already and she still has 23 days until she leaves for school. Very sad about that.

My Dezz is coming home soon so thats happy.

Yes, I own you two by the way. You are both mine.

and Cole... well if I had more energy or time in the day I'd see my Cole more but all the love making we do... it depleets me for weeks.

and Chrisy-poo... sorry man but you get sloppy seconds, but they thats still better than rotten thirds imo.

Sigh I've turned myself in a piece of meat my male friends use. Why can't we joke about me getting laid by a girl for once. That would be happy.

I love to dream. (Not a random topic switch by the way, read above statement for more information)

I feel like my life is going no where. I'm so exausted all the time. All I want to do is sit back and relax but I've got some much I want to and have to do. I've got no energy for TKD or even for running every morning like I should be doing to get ready for the PARE. Ugh... maybe I can find some really hot rich girl that I can leech off of.

No, thats not me. Leeching is bad mm kay.

Holy colon I'm tired and I now have almost 2 hours of sleep to get before I have to wake up for work.

colon shoes and : You

Tuesday, August 08, 2006


Fine I'll update my blog.

Went on holidays that was fun-ish.

I have a job that I dont really like. though its fucking sweet. get paid $12.00+ an hour to...
go for a walk, call a phone number, play with fork lifts...... and its a 9-5 job!!!!! 9pm-5am!!


Dont really have much else to say, my life has become extremely boring in the last few months and I dont know why.

Oh, and my house has a crack (or 4) in the foundation and a void under the basement floor. so thats going to be expencive and messy to fix.


I work at 6am and its now 12am. and Im not even a little bit tired.

I really need a change from the normal that is my life.