Oops, I over-did it again

Heh, whoop's Practiced some TKD yeserday. Grabbed my black gloves so my hands wouldnt be skin vs punching bag. well that didnt work too good because now my knuckles have big red patches where i ripped skin off as i beat the shit out of the punching bag.

On the plus side though, I'm a whole lot less angry now, and the constant pain in my hands keeps reminding me why I'm no longer angry :D so happy.

Going early to TKD today to learn some self defence 1 on 1 with Mr.O. I'm going to learn so much since it's just him and me. My arms are going to be sooo sore lol.

Anyway time to go find something to do while the WoW servers are down. /cry /bored

Dedicated to....

Myself. Because this is my blog, and I can. :P


Machines are paper thin, and they're welded with ink
Sealed inside a legal trap, so tight with a leak
A contract with the devil for a life of distain
Seeping in the limelight at attention, slave!

I blame myself

God, help me pour this gas on me
I need to drown in flames to be free
Help me pour this gas on me
Help me pour this gas on me

God help me pour this gas on me [x4]

Chocking on the product for the mass to consume
The flocks of mindless sheep that have been corporately groomed
Ignorance through apathy like drones in the hive
A slave on the trail, a willing conformed disguise

I blame myself

God, help me pour this gas on me
I need to drown in flames to be free
Help me pour this gas on me
Help me pour this gas on me

I sold my soul [x11]

God, help me pour this gas on me
I need to drown in flames to be free
Help me pour this gas on me
Help me pour, this gas on me

God help me pour this gas on me [x4]



Remember these are dedicated to myself. and only myself



I watch you tap the blood in my vein
My heart you feed on to keep you sustained
A parasite that leaves me cold and drained

I'm in shock and you leave me paralyzed
And the saddest part I realize
The absence of truth behind your eyes

I feel you tapping my soul from my vein
I feel you tapping again on my vein
I feel my life slipping away

One more drop of blood I spill
One more drop you take
One more drop and I will spite
And bite the hand that bleeds...

I see you have two faces turning
Changing face to keep me guessing
You have mastered the art of decieving

Now I know no one trusts you
Now I know not even you do
And I think, your salt in my wounds

Now I know no one trusts you
Now I know no one trust you
Now I know your salt in my wounds

One more drop of blood I spill
One more drop you take
One more drop and I will spite
And bite the hand that bleeds

Bite the hand that bleeds you

One more drop of blood I spill
One more drop you take
One more drop and I will spite
And bite the hand that bleeds

Bite the hand that bleeds you
You...







Lies are all that we hear
Death your undertones of fear
Lies are what causes fear
Death you and all that I hear

This in your eyes
So clear your eyes

Undercurrents
We cannot believe
Undercurrents
Slowly drowning me

Face me
Look in my eye
Hate me
I see through your mind
Face me
You still cannot
Hate me
Drowning in lies

Your lies can't hide
So clear your mind

Undercurrents
We cannot believe
Undercurrents
Slowly drowning me

Drown!

Haha!

Undercurrents
We cannot believe
Undercurrents
Slowly drowning me
Undercurrents
Slowly drowning me

Undercurrents
Slowly drowning me
Undercurrents
Slowly drowning me
Undercurrents
Slowly drowning me
Undercurrents
Slowly drowning





Discrimination
Your intention to scar me
Discrimination
Your a suspect penalty
I suffer!

Spiteful resolution
By your sentence we must fall
Spiteful resolution
Bitter thoughts destroy us all
We suffer!
Suffer!

Your final judgement stands
Made by your will
I never had a chance
I never will!

By your default judgement
Everyone has suffered
Your pointless judgement
Caused everyone to...suffer!
Suffer!

Your final judgement stands
Made by your will
I never had a chance
I never will!

Day in which god
Judged humankind [x6]
Mankind
Mankind

Your final judgement stands
Made by your will
I never had a chance
I never will!

Never [x8]




There is no future for us to suture
Your life ill fated, beat down and hated
Shot in the head, walking undead
Numb to the world, around your head
RIP my skin from my bones, I won't bleed
RIP my heart from my chest , I won't scream

Hide in the shadows, deep black, and hollow
Empty void of light cuts slean, like a knife
Damaged and torn, punctured by thorns
I've felt nothing since I was born
RIP my skin from my bones, I won't bleed
RIP my heart from my chest , I won't scream

My Flesh - Your Flesh
Your Eyes - My Sight
My Pain - Your Shame
We are the same...
RIP my skin from my bones, I won't bleed
RIP my heart from my chest , I won't scream
RIP my skin...



that's all for now.

WTF

I'm an Idiot. That is all

Document1

Such a stressful, but relaxing night. After tucking Becca into bed for a nap and leaving Mel and Eric at the mall I realize that im actually rather tired and dont feel like bowling, and also i checked the bank.. and I couldnt afford it even if i wanted to go. So I call Mel a couple times and leave a message explaining how im a poor bastard and cant come. and then I realize that I also dont really want to go watch a movie or do anything... other than sleep

but eventually Mel convinces me to coem watch a movie. which, because i took so long in going to watch it, I dont finish because I had a meeting with Mr. Otteson which is also rather stressful because I was going to ask about career advice and yeah.....

we talked from about 9pm until almost 11pm. with some interruptions here and there, and yea... Seriously consittering making Tae Kwon-Do, and more specifically Security work, my career. which would be so fricken sweet, since Mr.Otteson, as soon as he gets the papers, will be the ONLY lisenced Security Guard Trainer in the entire Northern British Columbia. I think the closest other school is in Vancouver but im not sure.

Security has always been a thought in the back of my mind, i've consittered the Police, i've had so many daydreams about being Becca's personal bodyguard after she becomes famous, and yea...

Also in a couple months with some REALLY hard work on my part I might become a paid Instructor for Freedom Tae kwon-Do school. meaning I will be teaching classes, and getting paid for it! WOOT! if that happens that will be the first time ever that I'll be getting paid for doing something I'd do for free because I love it that much. So sweet. I'm excited..

Well since this post has been so rapidly written and I'm super excited i could keep talking about it for hours but that would get to be a very long post and to avoid that im going to stop typing now

The Things I do for my friends....

Ok, so after leaving Mel's house last night Ryan and I go for food at Denny's (omfg i eat there way too much no wonder why im still out of shape) and Mike comes up to me and asks if im working tomorrow (which is today, wednesday) and i say no, and he's like hmm thats wierd you're scheduled on the back 5pm-1am.

and then i realize that i took Dezzy's shift so she could go to Vancouver, and I forgot all about it, (even though she remineded me.... twice.) so i ask mike to work 8 days in a row and take my 5-1... obviously he sais no.

So then i wake up this morning after having dreams all night of running away from something. (at one point it turned into me buying a motor bike but they were all too small for me, and the motorbike that "would" have been big enough... turned out to be a piece of vynal siding that didnt have a motor (the vynal siding was the frame of the bike... wtf?)

anyway i wake up this morning and call denny's to see if i can get it switch. then after half an hour of calling around I owe 2 people favors, Tanja is working my 5-1 even though she got home last night from the same shift at 1:40am and got up for school at 7:30am... and I took her 3pm-8pm shift.

now I would have been ok with that because I still could have had my meeting with Mr.O, except that I remember my friends wanted to go bowling, and it was a big thing about them getting dinner on time too, so if i bailed that would suck... so I called Kyla, and now Kyla is working my 3pm-8pm.

So now I have the entire night off once more, and I owe Tanja and Kyla favors. Yeay me.

now it's 10:38... 39 and I'm cold so BACK TO BED! yeay!

Lessons I've learned

1. If you were alone most of you life you dont realize how much it hurt until you have company.
2. Walls you build are much harder to tear down than they were to build up.
3. Light may be all warm and happy, but you cant hide.
4. Physical activity is so much harder when you dont eat anything for a day and a half. (dont try that at home, it sucks, you get all dizzy and you get a massive headache, and your eyes go bloodshot and your face feels like it's on fire)
5. You never know what you have until you lose it.
6. You realize afterward that what you meant, and how it came across, are two completely different things.
7. Lacking people and language skills because you have been on your own most of the time is a very bad thing when trying to explain what you meant in number 6.
8. No matter how bad you think it is, and no matter how much worse it gets, if you are still alive, that's all you need.
9. Think before you say something, because you can Never, Ever, take back your words
10. Sticks and Stone may break my bones, but those are only flesh wounds.
11. War is not cool, and never will be.
12. Life does not kick you while you down.
13. Nothing will change unless you try to change it.
14. You don't deserve anything, you earn it.
15. Trust is one of the most precious things a person can give you.
16. It is also very hard to earn back someone's trust once you break it.
17. Setting realistic short term goals, helps when trying to achive what you and others consitter "Imposible"
18. Changing a bad habit can improve more aspects of you life than you think it will.
19. Shadow Priests in World of Warcraft melt faces.
20. Dwarf Mounts, ie. Rams, are so cute.
21. When you promise to do something, do it. Even if it's taken so long that it no longer matters to anyone but yourself.
22. Nothing is more precious than the life of someone you love.
23. Knowing yourself and your own limit's saves you from a lot of physical and mental pain.
24. Happy music can sometimes make you more sad.
25. Feeling can hurt, but not feeling hurts more.

What have I done?
Where have I come from?
When I burnt the backs with the sun through a glass did I seal
the loss that's become me?

Feeling undone
What have I become?
When I turned my back on you I turned my back on myself and
became this machine

Olive Grove's for everyone

So I've been listening to An Olive Grove Facing the Sea by Snow Patrol again and holy crap its a beautiful song. no wonder why it reminds me of Becca every time i hear it. Anyway...

I'm so happy. I'm finally starting to remember my patterns. I'm working on the Red Belt pattern now. so hopefully this week i can get it down perfect. I've decided to start going to the Friday 6pm-7pm classes for patterns, so i can get very specific help from Mr. O and i can start looking like a Black Belt again. woot for me!

In money news today, I've dropped out of collage and am still probably going to owe about $70ish for my 1 course, apparently i was registered for 4 courses, 3 of which i wasnt actually elligble for but still had to pay tuition for *raises left eyebrow*, so that debt will jsut be cancled. Also my car is now insurred again and im only paying $211 per month. SOOOO much better than $318, which is what i was paying all last year. woot for 3 years safe driving after my accident. so happy about that.

In health new's talked to a councellor at the collage (while i was becoming the second collage dropout in my family) about my career choices and we somehow got on the topic of my Fathers death and other things and now sometime very soon im going to talk to my family doctor too! yeay for me. I might get to join the I'm crazy and need to take meds club. who knows... Come to think of it, the only thing that will change will be that I take meds.. im already CRAZY!!!

*stares into the faces of those reading this*


*keeps staring*


*keeps staring*


*Suddenly Lunges forward while making an "I'm going to eat your nose" face*


*goes back to staring*


*twitches*


*remember's that he's very hungry and goes to find food*

Busted

So today Becca asks me if i want to go Jean Shopping with her. So I say I will...

Then about 15 minutes later becca flips to a page in her cosmo and one of the headlines....

"My girlfriend thinks I'm doing her a favor by going jean shopping with her - but I really go just to ogle her ass!"

Busted

Good day today. YEAY!

Wow I had a great day today. Sold $500 at work and made $45. im so happy i can afford gas and have about 30 dollars left over for the week. which means i can go somewhere and get out of the house.... so some day this week we should go for coffee or lunch or sex or dinner or something. (By you i mean all my friends. yes even the sex part... mmm cole..... .... ..... mmm)

Now. lets see if i can get level 40 today too. cause then i get SHADOW FORM AND MY MOUNT!!!

LONG LIVE WORLD OF WARCRAFT!!! AND DWARF SHADOW PRIESTS!!! we own joo. k thx bye