I'm not a Nerd damn it!

Another step to becoming a RM is complete...

No more N sign.. just passed my class 5 drivers test today, yeay me. now if only I can actually do the test that will let them know if it's worth sending me an application. please hurry up 8th of July!

also my last day at the big D is the 9th so yeay for that. only 3 more shifts woot!

This Feels So Good

Yea the title sais it all.


I

Quit

Denny's.


Yeay me

I'm so ronry, so ronry, so ronry and sadry arone

I hate how I never get email's. It makes me sad to come home everyday and check my email. I dont even know why I bother anymore I haven't gotten a real email in I don't know how long. It's been a very long time since someone randomly sent me an email that they actually took some time to write and ask me how my day was. I think that's what I miss the most about having a girlfriend, having someone to talk about nothing with while cuddling on the couch. God I miss cuddling. Yep big strong TKD black belt wanna-be RCMP officer misses cuddling. I can't wait till I meet someone who wants to cuddle with me again lol. (Chris man I mean you)

I have no manliness left.

Oh and holy fuck Underworld 2 has the most R rated (without being xxx rated) sex scene in any movie I have ever seen.

That is all

because it's all I know how to do

I was down by the court house today, actually more specifically right beside it, at a place called "Courtyard Lane". It's a building that one of Prince Georges Law firms work in. Right behind the law firm is an alley way that connects 3 different building complexes, and in this alley way attached to the building beside the law firm is a small staircase down into a basement and directly above it is another staircase that connects to the second floor of the building.

This would seem like a perfectly normal thing. Except for one fact. the stair case down into the basement is the "MOST" popular place for drug addicts to get high.

I stepped out of the van when we first got to the law firm yesterday and saw several seringe packages, all empty, and a used seringe. When I mentioned this to my boss (who is an Auxillary Police Officer) he took me over to the staircases and showed me where they like to get high. It was disgusting, there were seringes all over the place, and even more seringe caps (little orange things that go over the metal needle part) it was a mess.

Then about an hour or so after he showed me the mess these two native girls one skinny one bigger, walked past the van, and headed over to the stairs... We continued to work and then took a quick 5 minuted break to stand in the doorway to the second floor of the lawyers office and watch these girls at the other building. They looked up at us because we were staring... turned their backs and continued to inject whatever it was they injected.

That was yesterday. Today almost the same thing happened, we were about to drill a couple holes in the wall when this bigger native girl came around the corner with an older native male in a wheel chair, they parcked it right behind where we were about to work and she began to get ready to inject some drugs into her.

My boss went up to her and told her that he was an auxillary officer and asked her why she was doing that, her responce was, "because it's all I know how to do"

So he asked her to do it somewhere else because he didnt want someone who injects (and there for is probably infected with HIV, AIDS, Hep or something else) behind him while he worked with a contaminated seringe, and she very politely said ok and then moved around the corner to another building.

I feel so bad for these people, watching them do the drugs that destroyed any chance for a normal live they had breaks my heart. Though, it also makes me want to be a Police Officer so much more, because as an Officer I might have the chance to help someone who is on that path fix their lives before they sink so low that all they can do is drugs.

I go back to that job site tomorrow. I wonder how many more I'll see.

EEEEE HEHEHEHHEEHHEHE

Yeay... I now have my first knife. It's called the PRT. Pocket Rescue Tool (sounds nicer so if something happens and I go to court I used a rescue tool to defend myself not a combat tactical assault knife..) it's so perty, and so nice to use.

It's entirely black so its harder to see, especially at night. It flicks open so easily, it's got a safety for closing so it cant accidentally close when I'm using it and cut off my own finger, its got a graphite carbide tip on the end that is used for shattering glass, and a seat belt cutter for uses during a car accident. It's got a black clip so I can clip it into my pocket (easier to get at if I need to use it) and the handle has some bumps on it so that if I do have to use it and the adrenaline is making my hands sweat my palms have some air to breathe and the sweat doesn't make the handle slippery. Did I mention that it is really pretty?

http://www.lbainternational.com/eickhorn/rt_pocket.htm

Mine is "Pocket Rescue Tool VIII" it's in the middle second row from the bottom.

I'm so happy... It's kinda creepy... I love it

I never thought it possible

Me? I've always had lots of energy, I've always been able to go and go hard all day... but I think I'm finally reaching my limit, or starting to anyway.

I'm working 7 days a week no days off, ever... Unless of course I decide to go sit by a river all morning and most of the afternoon and then come home and move my bedroom around again... but thats another story.. anyway no days off...

Nights are busy seeing a couple friends or working around the yard with my mother trying to fix things up at my house

And then there is the ever present TKD (getting to that)

Also I haven't been sleeping very well anymore, I keep having reocurring nightmares, nothing is the same about these nightmares except that when I have them it ends up all being the same general situation and I just wake up with a cold sick feeling in my stomache. so I dont rest very well anymore...

I'm so exausted in every aspect of the word I feel like I have nothing left to give. I've been doing so much for so long and I just feel drained and empty, I hate it.

I'm so tired, last tuesday I got back from lunch and decided to wait in my car for my boss to get back too... 45 minutes later I wake up, call my boss and find out he had already got back before I did and he went off to a job and was waiting for me to call him so I could go meet him... I fell asleep in my car with the window's open... in the hood.

I havent gone to TKD in 2 weeks because I've been busy going to Becca's plays (my choice I dont regret that at all) but I didn't go last week because I was just too tired after work, I didn't want to get up off the couch to go wash my uniform... which reminds me I need to wash my uniform...

Uggghh so tired, so drained, so empty.