GOING CRAZY

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I cant get away from my fricken family or friends. oh my god. i was supposed to go visit becca for dinner on boxing day morning but i couldnt cause ryan slept over and kept me up till 4am, and then i was going to go visit her this morning because i didnt yesterday but no, ryan slept over again, and kept me up till 4am again, and then when i woke up at 11am-12pm i was going to go cause she was still working but no, christina made me go bowl with her and taylore and justice and then we had to go have mac donalds, oh and then ryan and tanya came over right away too (they came bowling too). I NEED SPACE I WANT TO SEE BECCA OMFG!!!!!!! im calling you tomorrow at 3pm becca, if you dont answer imma be grumpy... (no i wont) but i do hope you'll know your work schedule so maybe we can go to that movie we've been trying to go to. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Christmas eve present from Bev to me.

I got to go home after only 1.5 hours at work. YEAY! i get to sleep today, i dont have to be awake for 36 or more hours without sleep. hurray for bev, and I pick up an 8 hour shift as well so i get to go home early and dont loose ANY hours, infact i get an extra 2! woot!. time for sleep


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zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...etc..

My day today

Ok i'm writing this at 5:43am and I havent slept at all last night. why? well give me a fucking minute and i'll tell you. GOSH!

Ok so I woke up at about 10:00am on Friday morning, blah blah worked 5-10, got off at 9ish because it was dead. Go home with Shirley's computer, its her christmas present to her boys. But this computer used to be Tanja's and tanja asked me to format it for Shirley since there was some personal info and financial stuff on the computer...

i started at about 11ish after a bit of a rest and figured id be done by maybe 1am at the latest. still plenty of time for sleep right? FUCKING WRONG!

First off, it's a Hewlett Packard computer. never buy an HP computer... ever, or a Compac, or anything else for that matter. buy the parts and put it together yourself.

I have no window's CD for this computer so i have to use my own, and my own cd key, and since i have no internet other than wireless i cant activate the new version of windows right away and im not sure shirly can either. so in 30 days she might need me to fix her comp again...

anyway....

in order to actually format the computer since tanja had a login password on the windows startup screen... i had to take OUT the hard drive, put it in to MY computer and format it that way, the put it back INTO her computer and play around in the BIOS so that i could start installing windows, which needed to format the hard drive AGAIN. omfg im tired and im about to go get ready for an 8 hour shift... wewt...

and then after i get home some time tonight, i still have to clean the basement, YES STILL, and wrap all my presents and go to the church candel light service at 7pm and visit christina and garfield on latenight tonight, and get up at about 7am sunday morning to open presents...

needless to say im glad i dont work monday because im going to sleep ALL DAY!!!

off to work.

fucking shoot me in the face with a cap gun so i die....

ok ttyl k thx bye

HOLY JESUS FUCK!

Thank you Becca for the best reaction to a present I have EVER recieved. I love you!

*Phil Hands Becca her presents*

*Becca opens said presents, and when she gets to the last one she sais, *

"Ladies retreat? whats that?" - Becca

"Its a Manicure, Pedicure, Steam Bath, and a 30 minute massage" - Phil

"HOLY JESUS FUCK!" - Becca

"I know." - Phil


hehehehehhehehehe best present EVER i love it :D


and i got an early christmas present from ICBC!!!!!!!

MY CAR INSURANCE THAT USED TO BE $310.74 A MONTH IS NOW..........

*DRUM ROLL PLEASE BITCHES!!!!*

$150.40 A FUCKING MONTH OH MY GOD I NEED A FUCKING TOWEL FACTORY!!!

so happy :D :D :D :D :D YEAY! maybe money wont be so tight in the next few months. yeay and imma leave you with a song that i love.


3rd Strike - Lisa


You convinced yourself you had nothing
Nothing left to give
In this world filled with pain
Your memory remains
I wish I could have said something
To make you change your mind
But it's done It's too late

No, everything is wrong
No, everything is wrong
Now that Lisa’s gone

I remember when we used to be friends
Those high school days are a haze
Now I’m amazed
How the years slipped away
Memories faded but you were always a queen to me
It's so sad to see this loss is a tragedy
No lie, playing on my sanity
Now I shed those tears for your family

And everyone who knew you loved you
What went wrong too young to pass on
I cant believe
I cant believe that you achieved to relieve yourself
A broken girl in a mixed up world walked out the door
I hope you found what you were looking for

No, everything is wrong
No, everything is wrong
Now that Lisa’s gone
Now that Lisa’s gone
Now that Lisa’s gone

Turn another page
I guess that life goes on
Take it day by day
It sometimes feels so wrong
Turn another page
I guess that life goes on
Take it day by day

No, everything is wrong
No, everything is wrong
Now that Lisa’s gone
Now that Lisa’s gone
Now that Lisa’s gone
Now that Lisa’s gone



We all have our own Lisa, and i just wanted to share this song. If you listen to it, rather than just read the lyrics, you'll understand.

Peace

Yeay for Section 1 on a sunday. first time ever

i hate it

I hate and love days like today....

ok so heres my entire day today... wake up at about 3:50pm.... go to work... be bored all day (and breaker)... get off only 15 minutes early and get paid half an hour less.... randomly decide to go to a movie with Dan and Larissa (everyone calls her Dawn.) go BACK to dennys cause im thirsty... see Dez eating a very tasty looking BLT on a bagel... have one myself.. come home and go to bed after reading blogs....

im so fricken bored with today its not even funny...

and... since i only woke up 10 minutes before i had to get ready to go to work... i didnt get to call becca like a promised i would.... Im sorry hun I'll call after work tomorrow so make sure your phone is off... oh wait you dont have your phone... MAKE SURE THE INBOX FOR YOUR VOICE MAIL IS EMPTY OTHERWISE IM GOING TO WRITE YOU A VERY DISGRUNTLED LETTER. you have been warned. unless of course you dont check this before i call... which in that case im just going to rape you, then skin you, then wear your skin as a bathrobe... i sure hope you read this... for your sake...

now.... wheres my skinning knife and my sharpening stone






wow that was crazy... i love it :D

My abs hurt.

Feeling a lot better today. I spent most of the last 2 days cleaning my room... and now my room is so clean its scary... except all the stuff that was in my room is now in my living room... sorry Nadine (my sister) but if you can do it so can I haha :P

While I was cleaning I was alos trying to get back into shape... I have realize how incredibly out of shape I am... I used to be able to "almost" do the splits.. (I was only about 4 inches from doing full splits) now im at least a foot... more like a foot and a half :S sucks to be me..

But man my abs hurt now. While taking a break from cleaning I decided it would be fun to do Crunches as fast as possible so the pain would come after i was done.... bad idea... I got to about 50 in a row and then BLAM! i couldnt move my abs lol.. poor things. and then later I did another 10 and had to stop for a few hours... all in all i did about 300 today... and the last time I did any at all was a good year or more ago... ouch.

Pushups sucked too... got to 15 and my lower back gave out. It's weak. Oh well its a start i guess.

Also i can't find any Bass Tabs for "Olive Garden". I'm kinda pissed. Though i think once i get back into bass a lot im going to try to tab it out for myself. so if anyone knows of a program that i can obtain "legally" that can slow down music but not change the tone then let me know the name and i'll go "buy" it.

For once i have a new years resolution....

"Get back into Tae Kwon Do"

Peace out homies (geek nasal accent)

Snow Patrol - Olive Grove Facing The Sea

This song is Decidated To Becca
Forever in my mind and my heart will this be your song.
I will always Love you, no matter what.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sworn to secrecy, I might go after school

She was an angel, I saw her swimming there

I am in such a mess, I can't cope without this

She just teases, me pretends she can't see me here

So let me go out there

I can breathe fresh air

Stay with you all night

Just let me love you

Just for a while, want to

Be with you all night

Be with you all night

Until I fall asleep

Just let me be here

I won't tell anyone

Don't want to wake up

The blind lead the blind so why can't I find my way

This could be Heaven but I don't know where I am

I am too scared to come out from behind here

My body is aching, it feels like it's wearing me

its time to put my life back together. time to stop feeling so lost and confused and alone, time to wake up and enjoy myself.

I'm not saying this is going to be easy, infact forgetting what hurts is going to be the hardest thing ive ever done, ever. but its time. i cant stand these feelings anymore.

This doesnt mean that I no longer care, Infact it's quite the opposite, I'm always, always, going to care. More than you'll ever know. I just can't continue thinking this way.

After this you will never see how I hurt, because its not fair to you when you're trying to be happy to know how much it pains me. and that is what i want for you. I want you to be Truely Happy. above everything I always wanted you to be truely happy.

So, first things first.... learn to play this song on the bass, and never forget it.

(ok well honestly first thing is to clean my room so I can actually GET to my bass)

First day of the rest of my life starts now.

Oh sweet, sweet, Mudvayne

I love Mudvayne

Suicide
Don't give a fuck about this
My life or any other
Just go away and let me hang
Impossible to forgive, forget it, murderer
I'm in control

Living a lie
Make you pay at all cost for this
Love sick
Bullshit
Bring it

Decisions making themselves
I don't need you
Thorns in my side
So I die

No one
No one could ever understand
My life's exhausted
No one
No one could ever understand
This life IMN

Determined
To bring you all down with me
Break you
Beat down
No more fucking empathy
From me, for you
Fed up i've had enough
Duality
My war
Existence
Instigated controversy
Lay down
Sell out
So wrong

Drag the blade and go away
I stand, cold cruel and lost
Take me I'm ready

No one
No one could ever understand
My life's exhausted
No one
No one could ever understand
Pressure constricting
So hard
Like a stone
Fight hard
Break bones break

No one
No one could ever understand
This life IMN

Your pressure
My timeEroding
My life
Fight for your honesty
Fight for integrity

All work and no play
All work and no play
All work and no play waiting
All work and no play
All work and no play left me
Sick!

I want to eat a bullet
Carve myself
Beat my face
Catatonic
Dig my brain
No pain! suffocate!
Stomach aches
Don't give a fuck
I'm out, I'm done
Fuck this shit
You've dug the hole
I'm lying in

No one could ever understand
No one could ever understand
Fight for your honesty
Fight for integrity

No one
No one could ever understand
My life's exhausted
No one
No one could ever understand
Pressure constricting
So hard
Like a stone
Fight hard
Break bones break

No one
No one could ever understand
This life, IMN

My world
My rules
My noose

My world
My rules
Fuck you

My world
My rules
My noose

My world
My rules
Fuck you

Wow....

I hate life.
Don't even worry about me I'll be ok someday

"I sometimes wish I had never been born at all" - Queen "Bohemian Rhapsody"