Why con't

Why do I do this to myself? I knew I had to be awake at 6:30 this morning, I knew I had to be at the Dojang by 7:45 at the latest, but I still went to the cast party for Closer. The stage manager Nigel invited me. He's someone I met through TKD and I got to know him over the three days that I went to the show. It was fun though, lots of laughing, a little bit of showing off (I couldn't help it, I tryed not to), lots of sitting in the background watching everything happen around me. I've realized I dont have much in common with theatre people, infact I have almost nothing in common with them. Friday night I went to the BX pub with them after the show and the two that I was sitting near were talking to be about books and movies and stuff like that and I had no clue what they were talking about, I felt so dumb, but I dont really mind because if anyone tryed to rob myself or one of the people that I love or if someone tryed to force those I love to do something they don't want to... I can defend myself and them. I can protect them with as much force as I feel is nessesary, and I wouldn't hesitate to do so either. God damn it's so hard hanging out with people you don't have anything in common with they tell so many jokes and everyone laughs but you dont know why but you laugh a bit anyway.... bleh I need to stop talking, I have to go, day two of the Knife Course starts today and it's "live blade cutting" day, we get to test our knives through different materials, like shoes, wood, leather, and yea it's going to be interesting. So sleepy